Tag Archives: Teacher

Help! IEP Time!

23 Mar

Yes, it’s that time of year again – Time for the annual review of my son’s Individualized Education Plan (IEP).  Even though this is only a review of our existing plan, and things have been going really well for my son this year, I still feel nervous and concerned.  Let’s face it, the entire process is extremely intimidating and nerve-wracking to a parent.  Without fail, I don’t sleep the night before, I can’t eat anything that morning and during the meeting – I cry…  Yep, no matter if what is said about Gregory is positive or negative….I cry.  (Trust me – crying when receiving good news is even more mortifying than crying when receiving bad news….  ;-\)  I can’t help it; so much of myself (my efforts, my concerns, my dreams, my love, etc.) is wrapped up in my children, the emotion and the nerves just get too much for me to contain.  Well, that and the fact that I’m a total sap…

Anyway, in the hope of helping other parents in a similar position (criers or not!), I am dedicating this series of blog posts to ways to make the most of your child’s IEP process.  I’ve received a number of comments and questions on my blog regarding IEPs, so I know I am not alone in my feelings.

A good IEP is a vitally important support for your child’s future, but the entire process is confusing, fraught with emotion, and bounded by fears that even though your child is counting on you, you might not be up to the task. With so much riding on it, no wonder parents feel so daunted, anxious and overwhelmed!  Maybe a few of these suggestions will help.

Be forewarned – this is going to be a long post.  This is an important topic with a lot of ground to cover….  So as not to overwhelmed you, I’ve broken the subject into several posts.  This first post in the series focuses on the up-front legwork needed to help the IEP process go more smoothly.  So, grab a cup of coffee, take the phone off the hook and settle in…

Does Your Child Need an IEP?

You know that your child is struggling and needs help….The very first thing you must do is determine whether or not your child needs services from the school’s Special Services, or if other paths might be a better approach.  Here are a few questions to ask yourself objectively:

1.  Must your child’s needs be met during school (i.e. academic support, resource room, etc.) or might they be better met in another setting, such as tutoring at home, physical therapist (PT) at the clinician’s office or social skills in a group setting? (Finances, of course, play into this equation, since many times medical insurance doesn’t [fully] cover these types of services…)

2.  So, you’ve identified that your child needs help during school.  Now, can these needs be met within General Education, instead of Special Education?

  • My advice would be to try more direct methods first, by working directly with the General Education teacher and Guidance Councilor.  Together, you may be able to provide additional supports, behavior modifications, etc. within the general education classroom that would not require that your child to be officially ‘classified’ within the Special Education department.  For example, teachers will frequently spend extra time with a child who needs extra help.  Small group instruction (pull-out/resource room) may also be available for specific subjects.
  • The school may decide that a formal Intervention and Referral Services (INRS) team meeting is required to discuss your child’s needs and possible interventions.  This can be a good thing, as it formalizes your child’s issues and any agreed upon interventions.

3. You’ve identified that your child needs help during school, but the unofficial assistance or INRS interventions are not sufficient. Is your child eligible for Special Services? To determine this, you must formally request (in writing) that your child be evaluated by the Child Study Team (CST) of your school or district.  The CST is made of up two or more certified personnel, including the school psychologist, learning disabilities teacher and social worker.  This evaluation will assess your child functionally, academically, behaviorally and psychologically to determine where any issues or deficits exist.  The evaluation will be based on standardized testing, observations, interviews and a review of developmental and educational history.

  • A specific diagnosis of your child’s problem(s) by an outside doctor or professional may be helpful, but it is not necessary.  The IEP eligibility determination is based on academic performance and behavioral issues at school, with or without a formal diagnosis.
  • In any case, don’t wait to obtain a diagnosis report from your doctor before requesting the CST evaluation.  The process takes several months to complete and the school is not required to accept an outside diagnosis or recommendation.  The school may in fact, decide to hire its own doctor to conduct an assessment during the evaluation process.

Special Note:  If your child’s teacher or Guidance Councilor is the one who raises concerns and recommends an evaluation, be open to hearing a difficult ‘truth’.  It may be a shock to you, or you may already have had concerns of your own, but it still can be hard to acknowledge that your child is struggling.  It won’t help your child for you to deny that their difficulties exist, so stay focused on your child’s best interest.  Keep in mind that teachers see many children over the years, so they can be more objective about identifying when problems exist.  They also see your child in a different setting and circumstances that you do.  It doesn’t mean the teachers/councilors are always correct, but it is at least worth listening to their concerns and perspectives.

On the plus side, if the school suggests the evaluation, you are much less likely to have a battle on your hands to get the help that your child needs.  And rest assured, no evaluation may be conducted on your child without your written permission.

Preparation

So….you’ve decided to pursue an evaluation by the CST.  Now it is time to do your homework!  To make the most of the IEP process, it is vital that you do adequate preparation.  You are the expert on your child and must stand as his staunchest advocate.  So, be sure to cover these following steps for the best outcome for your child.

1. Understand your Child

Take time to really understand your child’s strengths, weaknesses, personality traits and interests. Be specific about your goals and desired outcomes.  It is not enough that your want your child to be ‘happy’ or to ‘reach his full potential’.  You need to have concrete goals, such as ‘read at grade level’, ‘ interact appropriately with peers’, etc.  A great tool to help parents with this soul-searching step is Hopes and Dreams – An IEP Guide for Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, by Kirby Lentz, Ed.D.

2. Educate Yourself

To adequately prepare yourself for the challenges ahead, you need to do your research and educate yourself as much as possible:

  • Talk to others.  Many parents and professionals have been through the experience with Special Education and the IEP process before you.  Glean as much information and perspective as you can from those who have already gone through it.  And don’t limit yourself to just parents in your district.  Parents from other towns and even other states can provide valuable insights, as well as potential alternative approaches/services.
  • Go Off-the-Record. If at all possible, talk to your child’s teachers and administrators privately.  In so doing however, keep in mind that these individuals have a necessary allegiance to their employer (the school district) and may not be in a position to make official suggestions or recommendations.  Respect this and try to elicit open, honest dialogue by speaking off-the-record.  You can gain valuable insights into your child, available services and the system in general, from someone ‘on the inside’.  Be sure however, to always honor the ‘off the record’ status and never quote or reference those private discussions (or you’ve just burned that bridge for the future – yours and any parent following you…)
  • Attend Seminars. Many Special Education parent advocacy groups (such as the Statewide Parents Advocacy Network (SPAN) in NJ) offer free IEP seminars to parents.  Autism support organizations frequently offer seminars and conferences throughout the year – on all sorts of related topics – so be sure to get on their mailing lists.

3. Plan Your Strategy

Ok, now that you have fully educated yourself about your child, your rights, the process and the available therapies, it is time to strategize.

  • Be Realistic and Flexible in your Demands.  Yes, you want the world for your child, but be realistic about how much your child can reasonably handle at one time.
    • Focus on your top priorities at this point in time.  Priorities shift over time, as your child develops and his/her needs and issues change – and so can the IEP….it is not carved in stone, and may be modified at any time.  Identify a list of ‘ nice to have’ services.  These are not your top priorities, but if you school is willing to provide them, then great.  If not, you at least have a bargaining chip.
    • By understanding what services are in place and readily available within your district, you may be able to work within the system to meet your goals…maybe not all, but most.  Just because you heard about a great new treatment option that you are convinced will benefit your child, doesn’t mean that your school district will – or even can – provide it to your child.  The school is limited to a set of standard, proven and approved therapies (i.e. ABA Therapy).  You may need to work very hard to get a new therapy/approach onto this ‘approved’ list of services.
    • Be open to supplementing with services, therapies and/or supports outside of school – and to trying new approaches.  It may not be exactly or everything you were hoping for, but every little bit helps.
  • Walk in Their Shoes. When negotiating anything, it is vital to understand the other side’s position, goals and constraints, so that you have a better chance of developing a win/win result.  In this case, understand that the school district has a different set of priorities and goals than you do.
    • Special Services is tasked with providing an ‘equal’ and ‘adequate’ education to your child and they are held to budgetary and administrative constraints dictated by the government, Board of Education and other bodies.  Schools do not have unlimited resources (manpower or funds), so they need to apply those resources judiciously to provide the most benefit to the most children.  (And as taxpayers, we want them to spend our tax dollars wisely, don’t we????)
    • Acknowledge that unlike you as the parent, the school is not looking (nor is obligated) to provide the ‘best’ education for your child.  You are concerned with helping your child be the best that he/she can be, but the school’s primary concern is that your child is educated to the established standards.
  • Seek Support.  If you suspect that there may be some question about your child’s eligibility for Special Education, or if you are just not confident tackling the process on your own, consider speaking with and perhaps hiring an advocate.  Some districts/states automatically provide parents with an experienced parent advocate to facilitate the process, which can be an invaluable resource.

Initiating an IEP and dealing with Special Services can be overwhelming, emotional and intimidating, however with the appropriate preparation and planning, you can make the most of the process for your child. You can better understand your child’s challenges and work together with the school’s ‘team’ to meet your child’s needs most effectively – and that’s what I call a win/win!

Stay tuned for Part II of Making the Most of your IEP….

Little Comedian

14 Sep

“Mom, do you want to hear a construction joke?” asks my then 9-year-old Aspie.  “Sure!” I say indulgently.  “Hmmm….I’m still working on it.” he says, with perfect deadpan delivery.  I pause a moment, waiting… and then burst out laughing!  I never saw that one coming….very funny!

Shortly after figuring out Greg’s diagnosis, I read that among the many challenges faced by Aspie’s, being too literal and social deficiencies are typical.  After giving these issues some thought, I decided to implement a Joke of the Day program.  My objectives were three-fold:  1) Send a little ‘love note’ for my son to find during his school day; 2) Use jokes to encourage him to think ‘outside the box’ and not see only the literal interpretation; and 3) Give him a tool to grease the wheels of social interaction with his peers.

So I went about pulling together all sorts of cute, simple, kid-appropriate jokes.  I typed them up, and then printed them out on slips of paper. (I made 2 copies, because I decided to include my older son in on the project too.  My daughter couldn’t read yet… much to her chagrin!)  Then, each morning I took one joke slip each, folded it up and put it into their lunch boxes.  Gregory and Daniel often wanted to check out the joke ahead of time, but I always made them wait until snack or lunchtime…building the anticipation, just like any great raconteur!  I suggested that after they read the joke themselves, they should try it out on their classmates.  And later over the dinner table, I would ask one of the boys to tell us the Joke of the Day.  This meant that they got to practice their joke telling skills and we could then explain it, if the ‘funny’ aspect wasn’t clear to their literal minds.  “Ohhhhh…I GET it!”

It started out a little slow, but within a couple of weeks, my boys were clamoring to see what the next Joke of the Day was.  As hoped, Greg started to tell the joke during snack to the kids around his desk.  I guess the laughs started getting attention, because before long, snack time found Gregory standing in front of his 3rd grade classroom, clearing his throat and waiting for quiet (luckily the teacher was supportive!)  It became part of the daily snack ritual for Greg to tell a joke to the entire class – to mutual groans or giggles – and the kids started asking him for it.   This was all great, until I forgot to include a joke one morning….doh!  (Greg gave me a firm ‘talking to’ that afternoon, let me tell you!)  Apparently, the class was very disappointed until Greg saved the day by resurrecting some ‘old material’ (thank goodness for his fabulous memory!)   He was able to offer his classmates their daily chuckle, in spite of my failing!

At the playground after school, I would smile to myself when I would hear one kid telling another kid my Joke of the Day!  Sometimes the joke didn’t quite make the translation….sort of like that old “Telephone Game”, but it did show my plan was working.  One mother even told me that her child was upset that she didn’t get a Joke of the Day in her lunchbox too!  Clearly we were on to something…

What I hadn’t anticipated was how well Greg took to it….he is a natural joke teller (who knew?)  His timing and delivery are spot on, and he frequently incorporates different voices, accents or inflections to add to the comedic value.  He is really very funny.  My little comedian was born! 

Greg doesn’t rely on my meager offerings anymore.  Now, he reads joke books all the time, gathering his own material, in order to regale his classmates and family members with impromptu ‘stand up’ on a daily basis.  He loves making people laugh and has gained a bit of fame and status among his peers for his comedic prowess.  Gregory has also expanded his repertoire to include not just jokes, but funny stories and tv show scenarios too (along with all the applicable voices, of course!)   These days, some boys actually vie to sit with him at lunch, because as the kids tell their mothers (who in turn tell me), “He is so funny!”

I’m thrilled that my informal ‘curriculum’ has proven so successful.  It has enabled Greg to expand his mindset to see alternate interpretations to a phrase or situation.  It has enabled him to lighten up and not take himself (or life!) too seriously.  It has laid a ground work for successful social interaction and it has given him a source of success and self-esteem.  Objectives met!

So with that, I’ll leave you with today’s Joke of the Day:  Did you hear the one about the clown fish?  Or is it a mollusk?  Oh darn….I forget…   Oh well, as my husband will tell you, I am the worst joke teller ever –  I’d best leave the funnies to my little comedian!

P.S.  If you would like a copy of my jokes to start a Joke of the Day program of your own, please let me know….I’m happy to share!  They are corny, but effective!

A+ for the Teacher

24 Aug

From my years as a Project Manager, I’ve learned the importance of teamwork for a successful outcome.  When I first faced the unknown obstacle of Gregory’s Asperger Syndrome, I tackled it the best way I knew how – with my ‘business analysis’ hat on to determine the best way to help Gregory improve his behaviors and coping skills.  I researched as much as I could and then turned to recruiting key players within the school to become part of our ‘team’ to address these issues.

We were very fortunate that Gregory had a wonderfully experienced, nurturing woman as his 3rd grade teacher.  Mrs. A had been working hard to help him, relying on her instincts, since we didn’t yet understand the issues.  She was in fact, one of the people who drove my search for answers, after she made an insightful comment about Greg, “I think there is more going on here [than Tourettes].  I have never seen a child be so hard on himself.”  Mrs. A would be the first prospective ‘team member’ that I approached.

The Monday after my fateful “Date Night Diagnosis” [see previous post], I presented Mrs. A with my suspected discovery.  She wasn’t very familiar with AS, but she was thrilled that we had found a direction.  She immediately wanted to know what she could do to help, so I provided her with a small booklet entitledSimple Strategies That Work by Brenda Myles.  I had my first team member on board… We were off and running!

In the weeks that followed, we initiated the IEP [Individual Education Plan] process and shared the news with other key personnel in the school.  Our team was shaping up nicely, and as more and more information was shared with the various team members, strategies to support Greg within the school environment started to take shape.

Once Greg’s condition was officially diagnosed by the neurologist, I confirmed this with Mrs. A.  Then she asked, “How would you feel about sharing Greg’s condition with the rest of the class?” I was shocked!!!  Why should I further ‘label’ my son, who was already struggling with his peers?  “I think it might help them understand him” she continued.  I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but I said that we would think about it.

I pondered the question…  On one hand, I am a proponent of ‘knowledge is power’, so surely it would be positive to share the information?  And my business experience further supported the idea of sharing information across the team…but were Greg’s classmates really part of his ‘team’?   Would this just give them ammunition with which to torment him?

I tried to put my mothering instincts aside to think more objectively:  If my child has already been unofficially labeled as ‘weird’ or ‘different’ by other kids, teachers and adults, then an official ‘label’ can only help matters.  Knowledge of his diagnosis might help deflate negative judgments and promote acceptance of his problematic behaviors.  I felt sure that Greg’s classmates had already unofficially ‘labeled’ him in their minds, so sharing the official diagnosis would be positive, right?

Gregory was already aware of his diagnosis and was a key player on his ‘team’, so following my belief in sharing information, I decided to discuss the question with him directly.  I told Greg what Mrs. A had suggested and why, and then asked how he would feel about that.  He thought about it for a minute and then slowly answered, “I think that would be OK.”  I asked him if he was sure that he wanted the other kids to know about his AS and he said, “Yes, they might understand me better.” Alright….if he was comfortable with sharing the news, then maybe I should be too….

I then asked him if he wanted to be in the classroom while Mrs. A talked to the kids.  As an alternative, Mrs. A had offered that he could help out the Kindergarten class with a project if he preferred.  Greg was excited by that prospect and opted to help the Kindergarteners.  So, we had a plan…and Gregory had surprised me once again by his open acceptance of his condition.

The day came when Mrs. A spoke to the class very sensitively about Gregory’s syndrome.  (I was a nervous wreck all day!)  She started by talking about how each of us is different and that some people have certain problems, like allergies or poor eyesight.  (She used herself as an example, because she has both!)  Mrs. A then described, at a very high level, some of the things that are difficult for Greg, and how the class might be able help him during those difficult periods.   The kids not only listened, but were amazingly positive.  Eager to show their new comprehension, they exclaimed, “Oh…THAT’S why he does” such and such behavior…  And then the class brainstormed ideas on how they might support Gregory during his tough times.

I have to admit that it was a bit of a stretch for me to extend the ‘sharing of information’ to kids, but I accepted Mrs. A’s suggestion and followed Greg’s lead.  After school Mrs. A assured me that it had gone even better than she expected.  “The kids were SO accepting!” she marveled proudly.  I’m sure the manner in which she presented had much to do with their response, and I give her full credit for its success.

And a complete success it has turned out to be!  Now, instead of looking at Greg oddly as he retreats under his desk during a period of stress, some of his classmates will quietly kneel down to his level and try to calm him down.  When they see him starting to get upset about something, they tell him, “Don’t worry Greg.  It’s OK.”  When he is in tears about some disappointment or frustration, the kids (both boys and girls!) check on him and try to cheer him up.

I witnessed it myself one day….and was awed by the kindness and sensitivity of his peers:  I happened to be at the school playground for pick-up a few minutes early that day.  Greg’s gym class was working on the Presidential Fitness module, and had just done the mile run.  Greg, not particularly physically strong or coordinated, felt that he had ‘failed’ the test by not achieving the desired speed.  He was sitting on the playground sobbing – feeling like a loser.  One by one, a boy or a girl from his class approached him to see if he was okay and/or to try to cheer him up. “Greg, are you ok?” asked one concerned boy. “Don’t worry Greg, I didn’t make it either.” soothed one girl.  And then the ‘pièce de résistance’, a girl who had previously teased and tormented Gregory repeatedly, approached him.  I held my breath, afraid of how she might ridicule him and plunge him deeper into his emotional abyss.  But no, she kindly said, “It’s OK Greg.  You’ll do better next time.”  I was dumbstruck….  Tears welled up in my eyes, grateful for the kindness of these children, who had been lead to understanding and acceptance through the guidance of their inspiring teacher.  Thank you Mrs. A – You’re the MVP of our team!

 

No one has yet fully realized the wealth of sympathy, kindness, and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.  The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.               – Emma Golmam

 

 

%d bloggers like this: